why?

i am feeling really quiet today. i don't think quiet is the right word, it more like completely tired and down. i not really sure why though.
i was trying to think about it, and i know i probably have a lot of stuff to be sad about:
**mum had an affair and moved out
**mum never talks to me, phones me, emails me, texts me, or bother to keep in touch at all.
**my dad can't get a job so the house is in jeopardy
and most of my past aswell.
i spose i kind of decided, yeah i have had a shit start to life, i also know there is more shit to come. so why am i so bothered? if thats all i focus on, then that is all i will be able to see. so why not focus on the good parts, and try to have more of them, then maybe the shit parts will kind of get erased.
som keeps getting obssesed with me being jealous, i get jealous realli easily normally, but as everyone fancies her i don't see the point anymore. i love her and i know she loves me. so why do i worry so much?
so at lunchtime she like walked arm in arm with charlotte [this girl who fancied som, and probably still does a bit, its obvious] then hugged her in front of me to try to get me jealous and act silly.
then she says'did you see that?'
of course i bloody well did!
she got realli stressed with me when i joked about flirting with other people, but she changed it for herself?
i not angry at her, although it sounds like that. i just realli upset that she thought it was funny to mess about with my feelings like that.
i got more in my head but i a bit stressed to write it all now.