love

lying in the shower, i feel empty, i have such a difficult couple of months. i want to cry so badly but i don't want to admit it to myself. i don't want to think so much i am hurting inside, people depend on me, don't they, to stay strong. or is it just me not wanting to admit i can cry?
i have a sinking feeling that it is only me being my closed up self.
as i was sitting in the bath with the boiling water burning my back i got thinking, what is love?
so then i was trying to come up with an answer, then i remembered the day me and som were walking down the street and i was watching her just walking in front of me, and i had this smile on my face and a warm, snuggly feeling in my tummy. i think that is what love is:
(1) you feel complete when you see that person living
(2) they make you feel safe (like when i slept in her arms)
(3) you can talk about your future and important things together and know they will happen.
i have a lot of things to explain, a headful of thoughts but i can't write them today for some reason, it's my heart, it is aching to see my gorgeous sxc babes, which i can't properly for days.
it is like i have never actually lived with her, but i can't live without her.
i don't want her to think i am depending on her and being all clingy and stupid though.