Friday, February 09, 2007

feeling better

ever since i admitted to myself that i am not ok and i have let myself cry and let myself have some time off, i feel really good. not perfect obviously, but i feel like i am no longer pretending and i can feel.
the other night i slept the most i have slept in months, i spoke to som on the phone before going to sleep then i hugged her jumper and bear to me and i could smell her smell, it was like after i had let all the stress and tension out i was completely exhausted.
i normally feel lonely at night, it is like i have never actually with my bbz all night but i can't sleep without her either. i know that doesn't make sense.
but speaking to her before going to sleep made me ok, it was as if her voice stayed with me and i could smell her aswell she seemed so close.

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