whats wrong with me

i can't believe i felt like that! i was so jealous.
last night my girl friend had her ex round (thats not the problem, me and my ex are best mates) but they slept in the same bed, because there was no where else, and come on, what could have happened, she (my gf) thought. i don't mind all that.
it was when i heard that when my girl friend was asleep her ex started touching her that i began to feel sick. she lifted her shirt when there was nothing my girlfriend could do, when i heard about it i felt so sick, i was gonna faint and had to go get some water and sit down.
i couldn't sleep all night, these images were going round and round in my head. but i know my girlfriend would never do anything to hurt me, when i told her she was as shocked as me. she felt really bad though for trusting her ex.
it isn't her fault at all. she just better never let me near that other girl, because i swear if i see her i will smash her against the wall and tell her exactly what i think of her.
i don't really know whats come over me. i never felt this angry and jealous and stuff. i can't believe that other girl would do that!
it makes me feel so i duno, i can't breathe whenever i think about it, i just wanna hold my girlfriend. i duno how she must be feeling, if it was me i would feel sick that someone had done that to me when i trusted them and when i was asleep!
i don't know if i should really be writing this down but i need to get it out of my system. i keep thinking why didn't she wake up? but when shes asleep thats it, shes asleep. i just wish she had woken up and like realised, but it wouldn't be a nice thing to wake up to i suppose.
i saw her in the middle of the day aswell. neither of us knew what had gone on it wasn't until the evening. so while i was holding her another girl had been touching her. it makes me feel i duno, weird.
but i know it isn't her fault, it's probably just me over reacting.