i don't believe this

i can't believe this.
she makes me hate her. my mum never talks to anyone about anything, she never lets anyone close. whenever you talk to her you can see she doesn't care and hates life. she is unhappy i know but she doesn't seem to want to make herself better.
she ran away, she had an affair and now she is moving out. i tried to love her and wanted her to love me back but she wouldn't, she won't let me so i got bored of trying. i let our relationship go. i didn't see the point.
now she is moving out she suddenly wants me and her to have the perfect relationship, becuase she has gone so now is starting everything new. well i don't want to be mean but i don't love her, i can't, i got hurt too many times to let myself go through it again.
i can't let her again. i won't, she can go and move away with her new boyfriend and buy new things and live a wonderful social live, but i don't want to be a part of it.