my mum might hate me

i think my mum hates me. she keeps being really sharp with me. i don't know what i am doing.
i am going to try harder, like do house work and be more tidy, i left my plate on the table and she told me off loads, so i need to change.
i did try to be happier, bt it didn't work, she still doesn't see it. if my sats results are good then maybe we would get on better. i know she is still angry with me because she took hannah on a £150 shopping spree and wouldn't take me. i think it's because she hates the way i turned out, she had real problems, she couldn't even open a curtain when i was small because she didn't like doing anything.
i became really nervous and culdn't do stuff either because i had it hammered into me as a child that the world was scary. i think she hates that i am like that. i don't mean to be. it's not her fault i am so messed up. i am trying to get better.